I'm trying out a theory. Its that most people don't do things because they don't see it, or don't connect emotionally. And if they don't 'get it' for themselves it does not really exist. So if I want change rather than manipulating them, or putting pressure on them to just do what I want, I'd prefer to leave a suggestion, a thought with them.
Its my Trojan horse. Its the great couple of sentences I leave with them. Its a statement that is outside their experience. And it just sits there in their head - behind the gates they put up to stop change - and one day it might become a surprise - their surprise.
Its not a sneaky move, its a positive move to get a real win-win going. Because I'm not certain what they will do with my gift. They might just trash it. Whatever happens its going to be theirs and if it lives it is going to make a difference to the next time we meet, and I hope to the way they think about things. My goal? To expose them to the chance of change and to do it with the generosity that my hopeful gift might just get smashed.
Ps- My Trojan either makes a positive change or disappears, nasty things don't come out and mess the place up - not a perfect symbol perhaps, but memorable.